TOEFL WRITING TASK 2 (ADVANTAGES & DISADVANTAGES) Body paragraph 1

The previous post (Introduction) showed how the question can be paraphrased and what ideas will be mentioned in the body paragraphs.

The question:

'Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages to this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer'.

Now, TOEFL allows you to use PHRASAL VERBS and IDIOMS. Therefore, here is a reminder of the 'sports' idioms and their definitions (which you provided on my Facebook page). We can use a selection of these idioms in our writing, which will add to the marks.

Sport idioms and their definitions:

On the ball = to be in control

Jump ship = give up trying, because it's too hard

Home stretch = the last part of a difficult task

Having the ball in your court = it is up to you to react and show initiative to make the next move

Get a head start = start before everyone else, so you can finish sooner than the others

Synonyms for ADVANTAGE

Also, on my Facebook page, you suggested synonyms for the word 'advantage', which I will b using in this essay. They are:

benefit, merit, on the plus side, an issue in favor of...

Just to remind ourselves, the main ideas that need to be discussed in body paragraph 1, IN FAVOR OF doing a lot of sports (advantages) are:

Enable self confidence and discipline

Provide physical well being.

The structure for body paragraph 1 for advantage & disadvantage essay:

1. Write an advantage

2. Explain

3. Write an example

(if you have more than one point, follow steps 1 - 3 again)

4. Write a concluding sentence for the paragraph.

Now we can begin writing our body paragraph 1. It is important to first and foremost, inform the examiner / reader that body paragraph 1 will discuss the 'advantages'. This can be done by using appropriate 'transition words / linkers'.

Body paragraph 1:

One crucial benefit of doing lots of sports is that it could facilitate self confidence and discipline. (1st sentence, one advantage)

This is due, in part, to the competitive nature of partaking in sports, whereby undoubtedly at some point the child will want to throw in the towel and jump ship, if not for the sense of self assurance that encourages him/her on the home stretch. (reason and explanation)

In other words, the regulated schedule that the child needs to adhere to and the strict dietary regime that he/she might have to abide by are clear examples of the extent of self reliance and determination that is required in order to stay on the ball and succeed in the sport. (example)

Another issue in favor of practicing a great deal of sports, is the well being of the child. (2nd advantage)

Naturally, the attention needed to maintain a well - oiled machine would typically result in an abundance of physical as well as mental health. (reason and explanation)

For instance, the types of food and timing of meals, length and quality of sleep, as well as the biological benefits of sports can all allow for optimum physical and psychological strength. (example)

Hence, it is understandable that children tend to exaggerate the amount of sports they play, since it could provide them with a great head start in life. (concluding sentence for the paragraph).

Notes:

Adhere to /Abide by = collocations. They HAVE TO be used with the specific prepositions (Adhere + to) and (Abide + by). They both mean to respect and follow certain rules or practices.

Allow for = (collocation. Allow + for). It means to permit or result in.